“Dio Bendicho, Dio Bendicho.”
This is what my beloved mentor, Floryz”l used to say to me when we settled in for a conversation about God. She described the adults in her Sephardic community pointing a finger at the children and shaking it while telling them that ‘Blessed God’ was going to get them if they didn’t behave. In this instance, God was a menacing character used as a warning to keep people, especially children, in check.
Do you have a memory of what God was for you as a child? I remember the image that I saw depicted in art, of an old man with a long white beard sitting on a big throne. This is a primary aspect of the Divine highlighted in our High Holiday liturgy—הַמֶּלֶךְ הַיוֹשֵׁב עַל כִּיסֵא רָם וְנִשָּׂא ha Melekh hayoshev al kisei ram v’nisa—"The King who sits on the exalted throne on high”. This is the noble and majestic Divine, the one of yirah - of Awe and of din - of judgement.
Another aspect of the Divine is provided in this particular time in the month of Elul. The Hebrew letters for Elul (אלול) are viewed as an acronym for the verse אֲנִי לְדוֹדִי וְדוֹדִי לִי Ani L'dodi V'dodi Li—"I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine" (Song of Songs 6:3). In this instance, God is a beloved, intimate and caring.
As it often does, Judaism offers a formula to support us in what can be a challenging process. For the month of Elul, as we begin to settle into the task of spiritual accounting, we are invited to dwell with the aspect of the Divine that is a soft place: שִׁבְתִּיבְּבֵית יְהוָה shivtib’veit Adonai—"I dwell in the house of Adonai” (psalm 27:4). Each day we hold up a mirror and see the Beloved reflected back at us. Then, we are bolstered to do the difficult work of תְּשׁוּבָה teshuva—"turning towards the truth of our lives, discovering the ways we have missed the mark, asking and giving forgiveness and facing the reality that life, as wondrous as it is, is also fleeting.
We don’t charge ahead into a process of judgment and discernment without first being reminded of our intimate relationship with the Divine; being reminded that no matter what, we are worthy, loved and beloved.
It is all here for us: support, a path laid out, and a designated time in which to turn to the process and commit to it for the sake of our own growth, for the sake of the lives of those we love and for the merit of all beings.
May this time be one of precious holiness.
Shabbat shalom.
Aviva
